February 2012
67 posts
1 tag
Call me Cupid
I set up my friend with a girl he likes.
By setting up I mean suggesting he could order a pizza and dessert to share with her, which I’m going to gatecrash and cockblock him in the process.
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People want a meal cooked for them
Offer to cook
People want to order pizza instead.
People want to bake a cake
Offer to help bake
People want to buy a cake from Tesco instead.
It’s almost as if they don’t appreciate the culinary God that I am.
By the end, my grandma had forgotten how to do almost everything, including how to get out of bed and how to swallow but the one thing she never failed to forget was her late husband’s name.
She even had to be continuously reminded of her own name but when she was asked of her husband’s name her eyes would light up and she would respond instantly and then proceed to happily tell us...
Thinking in a ghetto accent amuses me a little bit too much.
I really should not have gone through the dementia tag.
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I just cracked the screen of my brother’s new iPod nano and considering I broke his old iPod touch a couple of months back, the future does not bode well for me at all.
Cleaning my room whilst listening to Sean Paul.
My mind is subconsciously trying to make me clean to the beat which is stressing me out because I can’t even eat at this pace let alone clean.
I just realised I haven’t done any of my tutorial prep work for tomorrow. Ah well, guess that means I can sleep in!
Had a fire alarm at four am this morning which sucked because I stayed up until three thinking they were going to do it then. Then I realised I had forgotten to put my phone on silent when it kept vibrating every time people called and texted me at crazy hours as I was trying...
Birthday celebrations part 2 coming right up
got my spag bol down me and preparing chicken wings for when we feel the need to binge eat.
Going out with a different combination with people so we’ll see how it goes! It should be alright, nights out always are.
Doing the same as tonight in two weeks and the weekend after that with friends. Bring it on. ;)
Take on meeeeeeeee (take on me) Take me ooonnnnnn (take on me) I’ll beeee goneeee In a day or TWOOOOOOOO
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“I feel like you have a word filter, it just works a little late.”
– Gab
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uhuhuhgabby replied to your post: We are all convinced that the fire alarm is going…
it will suck if you stay up and it doesn’t go off…
Most of us have a day off tomorrow and they know there’s nothing good on clubbing wise tonight so we’ll all be in our rooms so they can make sure we all go through the fire alarm process. Sad times!
We are all convinced that the fire alarm is going to go off at 3 am tonight, it’s now nearing one and I can’t decide whether I should get two hours sleep now or just stay up for the alarm.
Just finished round two of pancakes with chocolate syrup and now I’m full as fuck which means I’m a happy Josh.
2 tags
Yesterday
Sam: I woke up last night and realised we always spoon each other when we sleep. It's a good thing we always wear clothes to go to bed, otherwise I genuinely think my dick would accidentally slip into your arse.
I’m seeing Woman in Black again on Saturday with a girl who hates horror movies so it’ll be hilarious and she suggested cooking for each other sometime to show off our excellent cooking skills.
Knowing her she’ll cook some amazing three course meal and I’ll be there with my chilli con carne and tesco cake like a muppet. Ah well, it’s the thought that counts, right?
...
A lil birdy told me it was pancake day tomorrow
hell yeaah bud! :)
Birthday weekend
I just got the last phone call of the day which was from a flatmate who apologised about a million times for forgetting that it was my birthday but she’s great to be around so there’s no harm done! (Though she doesn’t believe me.)
My family now thinks I’m an alcoholic who goes out every single day of the week, since my aunt + uncle blow everything out of proportion! But...
Ah, sleep why haven't you come to me?
In other news, the weekend has started off great.
I spent all day chillin’ with friends and took a break to watch Woman in Black in the cinema. That film should not have been a 12A, that is all I’m saying! Twas a good film with quite a few jumpy moments and Daniel Radcliffe’s acting skills were actually alright in it which was a plus. I also got lunch and dinner cooked for me...
aye one time i owed the library like 400 dollas...
ripkamsud:
it was the summer of 7th grade going to 8th
a nigga was stressed and depressed
walking home like
“how the fuck did i manage to do this to myself”
on the brink of tears everyday scared to tell my mom
luckily they had this program
“read away your fees” or some shit like that
every half an hour you sat in the library and read it took 2 dollars off
my niggas.
my mother...
Nothing irritates me more than people who don’t apologise.
The only thing greater than coco pops is the chocolatey milk that gets left behind after.
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Ladies, you should never underestimate a man’s ability to be completely and utterly vacant.
Crying myself to sleep because Russell Peters didn’t announce London as one of the places he’s going to on his world tour.
Anonymous asked: is sam your best friend or your valentine? it's obvious you love him
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I shouldn’t have started to defreeze my food.
I’ve been waiting for hours for it, now I’m just tempted to eat it in its ice cubed state.
V-day
I spent the morning talking to the girlfriend, was refreshing talking to her properly for the first time in weeks. This is a cheesy sentence for a cheesy day but our conversation reminded me of why I fell for her in the first place.
Then I dragged myself to a lecture which turned out to be much better than I thought it would. Joked with a couple of people I hadn’t seen for again, weeks. In...
Getting a hug from a person you barely see because you open the door with tears streaming down your face and getting calmed down by someone who lives in a different country is a really odd combination but a welcome one.
hannahelizabethfoster:
checking your online banking daily, just incase someone’s decided to anonymously put £100,000,000 in there.
they never do.
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This may be all in my head but
when I have my headphones in I can smell really strong womens’ perfume coming from somewhere but when I take them out I can no longer smell perfume of any kind.
It’s my birthday this Sunday and it doesn’t feel like it all because of all that has happened in the last six weeks, mainly in the last three. I’m not even celebrating it nor am I going to enjoy myself on it and it’s weird how for all my years in secondary school I dreamt of going to Las Vegas on my 21st but now that it’s finally here I’m probably not even going...
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computer: EA games
me whispering: challenge everything
I have food poisoning and the worst thing is my friend warned me that I was going to get it.
SAD TIMES.
Oh shit, Valentine’s day is in two days and I completely forgot.
I hate present shopping, God help me.
Should have known V-day was coming from the sudden unbearable Facebook posting between couples and the not so subtle item pointing. It’s amusing how certain girls only start with the posting when V-day, Christmas or their birthday is near, it screams gold digger.
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Pretending I have money in the bank and going grocery shopping online.
Three people in my family have died so far this year.
There is something weird going on here.
what race are you?
black people: black
white people: 2% Greek, 9.1% German, .0000032% Russian, 92% Irish, 49% French, 100% blue eyed devil
I have a stomach full of spag bol (which I made and it was a BEAST if I do say so myself). Now I’m ready to fall asleep but not before I watch a movie with Destin, unless he’s tricking me into watching some nasty shit I don’t want to watch but then again I’ve watched everything that is nasty on the interwebz.
I feel content!
When everyone on my newsfeed gets snow and I get freezing rain.
Ah well, I guess it makes walks to lecture halls more enjoyable when you have no clue where large icy parts of the downhill road are so there’s a 95% chance you’ll slip and slide all the way down to God knows where with no chance in hell of getting back up.
I have noticed a pattern…
Everytime I start panicking because of tutorial or seminar prep I start singing the British national anthem “God Save The Queen” in my head.
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“Josh did you know we had more tutorial prep for tomorrow?”
“Oh, you didn’t? Yeah it look me like three hours.”